what you need to know

If you are experiencing family violence or planning to leave

Everyone deserves to feel safe at home.

This page details how to recognise family violence in your own life, make a safety plan, or access emergency help to escape it.

If you are in need of immediate help, contact Safe Steps 24/7 on 1800 015 188. In an emergency, call 000.

Remember, you are not alone.

Recognising family violence in your own life

People often dismiss the signs of family violence in their own lives, but if you have found yourself on this page, there is a reason. It can be scary to define what you are experiencing, and you may have feelings of guilt, shame, or fear. But know that reading this page could be the first step in your journey towards safety and wellbeing.

According to Safe Steps:

Family violence is when your partner, ex, carer, family member or someone you’re in a ‘family-like’ relationship with uses threatening, controlling and violent behaviour that makes you scared for your own – or someone else’s – safety and wellbeing.

Family violence doesn’t always involve physical or sexual abuse. People use a wide range of abusive behaviours to maintain power and control in relationships.

Family violence can look like:

Physical abuse like hitting, kicking or pushing.

Sexual assault or abuse.

Emotional abuse, belittling, name calling.

Intentionally damaging property or belongings.

Preventing connection with friends, family or culture. Unlawfully depriving liberty, visa abuse.

Intentionally causing death or injury to an animal.

Financial abuse like controlling bank accounts, money and spending.

Stalking, digital abuse and monitoring or control through online channels.

Threats to cause harm to loved ones, children or pets.

Start by reaching out for help

It is important to reach out for help if you are experiencing family violence. While it can be scary, taking this step can make you feel more in control.

In an emergency

Call 000

If you are in danger call 000. You should also call 000 if someone you know is in danger.

In Victoria

Safe Steps
1800 015 188
Available 24/7

Safe Steps is Victoria’s 24/7 family violence crisis service. Any person who is worried about their safety at home – or the safety of someone else – can call Safe Steps.

Safe Steps is confidential, compassionate, and supports people of any age, gender, sexuality, ability or immigration status. Interpreters are available for languages other than English.

If you’re not ready to take action but would just like some advice, you can still call Safe Steps.

Accessing refuge accommodation and YANA’s services begins with contacting Safe Steps.

Nationwide

1800RESPECT
1800 737 732
Available 24/7

If you are not in Victoria, 1800RESPECT is the national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, information and support service. 

Specialist services

Explore a directory of specialist services via
Safe and Equal.

There are many other support services that might suit your needs. Explore a directory of specialist services via Safe and Equal.

Whether you are planning to leave home or stay, there are some practical things you can do to help keep yourself and your family safe. A safety plan is best created with a professional support through one of the services above, but here are some things you may like to consider.

Staying safe and making a plan

Reach out to someone you trust

Speaking to someone about what you are experiencing is a good first step. This could be a family member, friend, neighbour, doctor, counsellor, teacher or someone in your community. You could ask them to be a part of your safety plan, and keep them informed about what is happening at home.

Think of somewhere safe to go if you need to leave in a hurry

It is good to already have a plan for where you could go in an emergency. This might be a family and friend’s house, or a public space like a local library. Think about how you would get there, and become familiar with the way there on public transport or foot if necessary. From there, you can call services like Safe Steps to organise safe accommodation.

Choose a code word or emoji

Choose a word or emoji that you can send to someone you trust if you find yourself in an unsafe situation. Let them know what you would like them to do if they receive it, like calling 000, picking you up, or meeting at an agreed location.

Prepare essentials

If you think you may need to leave in a hurry, gather some important items and keep them in an easy to reach place. These might be identification and important documents, passports, medication, healthcare cards, children's birth certificates, spare keys, a back-up phone, some cash, and a few items of clothing. You could also leave these with a trusted person.

Consider online safety

Some non-physical forms of family violence include controlling behaviour and stalking. This can include using technology to keep track of where you are, who you talk to and what you do with your money.

You can delete your internet history or use ‘incognito mode’ when looking at sites like this one. If possible, use a safe computer to access your accounts, such as one at a family member's house, a friend's place, or a public library. Consider setting up new online accounts or changing your passwords and login details for online banking, email, social media, and other important services. Do not use the same password for all your accounts and use strong, unique passwords.

Keep your mobile phone safe

Be sure to set up a pin code or pattern lock, and set your phone to lock after a few minutes of inactivity. Change this code regularly. Turn off location services and Bluetooth when not needed, and consider a factory reset if you suspect tracking software. If possible, have a back-up phone that you can use if you need to leave, and set your normal phone to airplane mode when you do.

Remember: A situation may become more dangerous if there are obvious signs that you are planning to leave. Do not use leaving as a threat, and keep your safety plan private with people who you do not trust.

Time to leave?

If you have made the decision to leave, remember that you are not alone. Here is a checklist of things to consider.

1. Call 000 if you are in immediate danger;

2. If it is safe to do so, pack essentials. These may include:

  • Identification and important documents;

  • Your driver’s license;

  • Medicare and healthcare cards;

  • Your passport or any immigration papers/visa

  • Spare keys;

  • Your phone and charger;

  • Some cash and access to money;

  • Medication;

  • A few items of clothing;

  • Personal items like jewellery or photos.

If you have children with you:

  • Any medication your children take;

  • Some warm clothing;

  • A comfort toy or security blanket;

  • School and immunization records;

  • Documents like birth certificates and passports;

  • Some baby formula or food.

If you do not have time to pack, that's ok. The safety of you and your family is the most important thing.

3. Get to safety

You might go to your neighbour’s house, the home of a family or friend, a public place like a local library, or a motel. Once you have reached a safe place, try to keep calm, eat something, drink some water, and if you have your children with you encourage them to do the same.

4. Call Safe Steps on 1800 015 188

You can call Safe Steps 24/7 to take the next steps towards safety. This service is confidential, compassionate, and supports people of any age, gender, sexuality, ability or immigration status. Interpreters are available for languages other than English.

Accessing refuge accommodation and YANA’s services begins with contacting Safe Steps.

Leaving an unsafe situation can be very difficult, but help is available. You are not alone.